For Anyone Who Has A Dream...

I had no intentions of writing this blog today, but it was on my heart to do so. I know that sometimes life gets hard, but I just want to tell somebody to keep going. If you have a dream, don't stop until you reach it. Keep working hard and stay in faith, and you will see it all pay off. I can't tell you how long it will take or when it will happen, but  I do know that it will happen. That's what I tell myself everyday. I don't know when it will happen for myself, but I know that it will. I see where I am, and I see where I want to be. Everyday I'm taking steps and making moves so that when the opportunity presents itself, (because if definitely will), I am prepared. I'm studying the greats, perfecting my craft,great. Not good because good just doesn't float my boat.  You have to do the same thing. Make sure that you are putting in the work and doing all that you can to make those dreams reality. If you don't work at it, that's all they will ever be: dreams.

Whatever you want to do, you can do it. Don't worry about the naysayers or people who don't believe in your dream. It's YOUR dream! You can't be focused on what someone else has to say. If anything, silence them. Prove them wrong. You do whatever it is that you have to do to take yourself to the next level. The only person who can stop you is YOU. Sharkeisha over there in the corner can't stop you. Little dude from across the street can't stop you. Hating Hattie Mae on your job can stop you. No one can stop you but you. We're our own worst enemies. You already possess all of the ability and talent you need to succeed. It's all just a matter of you tapping into that greatness and stepping out of your comfort zone to unlock that next level and release it. Getting where you want to be will require you being uncomfortable at times. It will cause you to do things you don't like doing. It may require you to work long nights and early mornings, put in extra hours in the studio, stay up studying all night, but if that's what it takes, do it. You remember playing Super Mario on Nintendo, right? In order to get to Mario to that next level, you had to pass a series of situations and obstacles. Life is the same way, but you are Mario or Luigi (whichever you prefer) . There will always be challenges. There will always be obstacles. That's inevitable. But just as there are obstacles and challenges, there will ALWAYS  be ways to overcome them. In order to do that, you have to keep pushing. You can't give up. You have to make up in your mind that no matter what comes your way, you will keep grinding. It doesn't matter how many doors have been closed in your face or how many people have told you "no." You can't let that stop you. If anything, use that as motivation to keep going. There will be times when you want to quit because it seems too hard but know that pain is only temporary, and everything that you are going through is preparing you for something greater. So, to be that motivational speaker, rapper, actor, fashion designer, nurse, CEO, entrepreneur, or whatever, you will have to put in the work. When it gets tough, don't lose sight of the bigger picture just because your snapshot looks a bit fuzzy. Continue to work hard. There is no way around it. If you want it bad enough, you will do whatever it takes to make those dreams reality. As Eric Thomas said, "It might not be easy, but it's simple." Which means that whatever you want is attainable. Now, it may take a lot to get it, but you CAN get it! Just keep the faith, stay focused, and work hard. You will see it pay off. While you're waiting on your moment, work on perfecting your craft. Don't depend on anyone else to "put you on" or put in a "good word" for you. You focus on working hard because that is what will "put you on." Aspire to be great, not good. Good is average, and average is dangerous. Being "good" is not enough. Why settle for good when you can be great? So to whoever felt like giving up, DONT! Keep pushing. I don't care if you have to ugly cry, curse, crawl, scoot, or whatever, just keep going. Don't stop. Trust the process. It all serves a purpose. I want to see us all make it!

And when the temptation to quit begins to knock endlessly at your door like Jehovah's Witnesses, just remember why you started. Remember the reason why you cannot give up. For me, it's my mom, a woman who is selfless and sacrificed so much for me. All I want to do is give her the world or wear myself out trying. She is one of the reasons why I grind so hard. Why do you?

*Photo courtesy of Google

Expecting Chitterlings to Smell Like Chicken Wings: Unrealistic Expectations

Every saying used to tell somebody to calm down, Claribell had heard it. She was always being told "just be cool", "chill shawty", "relax", etc.This was so confusing to her because she was such a cool girl. So what could she possibly be doing wrong?! Apparently something because different people kept telling her the same thing. Finally, somebody just had to sit Claribell down and tell her that she was always hearing this because she put unrealistic expectations on people too soon. Every time she started conversing with someone new, she expected them to call her everyday, send those good morning/goodnight texts and all that jazz. If she didn't get a text back within 30 minutes, she was ready to hop in the Buick LeSabre and ride out. Already acting like a girlfriend when she hadn't even mastered being a friend. There she was expecting all of this stuff and had not even been talking to the person for more than two weeks. These premature, unrealistic expectations caused her to be disappointed every single time.

Going into any situation, your expectations should be realistic. Go into a situation with an open mind that something could or could not come from it, but either way, it is what it is. Don't get your hopes up too soon, but don't go in being pessimistic, automatically expecting the worst. You have to find that balance. Something you definitely don't want to do is expect too much too soon or expect to change a situation after already being told what the situation is. 

Putting those early expectations can be rough. You read about Claribell! Those premature expectations will have you looking at that phone waiting on that text, and then ready to snap if you don't get the reply in a "reasonable" time frame. If you're just getting to know the person, do just that. Don't try to force anything or expect too much too soon. Matter of fact, first going in, don't put any expectations on anything until you have a reason to do so. Accept people and situations for who and what they are. A chill session is just a chill session. A first date is just a first date. It doesn't mean that a relationship will follow. It just means you went on a first date, and if it was a good one, perhaps you will get a second. I know you want to start thinking of all these lyrics and bomb captions you can put under those IG photos, but just hold off a bit.Try not to put expectations on others based off past situations or people. Just because Betty Mae used to text you every other day when you first started talking doesn't mean that Lou Ann will do the same. Don't let past expectations carry over to new situations. Enjoy getting to know the person before you start thinking ahead and whipping out all the expectations. Make sure you two are even looking for the same thing. Here you are looking for a relationship when the other person is just looking for a romp partner!

Which brings me to my next point....

If a person lets you know what he is looking for from the jump, accept that. Don't go into a situation expecting to change it after already being told what the situation is. Barry Ray told Kathy Mae that he wasn't looking for anything heavy. He was just looking for somebody to kick it with. Kathy Mae knew this. She said it was cool and continued talking to him anyway, knowing full well she wanted a relationship. She didn't just want to "kick it." She was looking for something more. They both wanted different things from the start. Yet, Kathy Mae still invested her time and energy into Barry Ray, expecting something more to come from the situation. She thought that if he spent time with her, he would see how great a gal she was and would change his mind about a relationship.There she was thinking they were heading down Relationship Road, only to look back and see that she was the only one walking down that road. She's probably still walking down that road as you read, expecting Barry Ray to pull up in that Ford Pinto. Unrealistic expectations.

As you go through life, it is impossible to never have expectations. Just be sure those expectations are realistic.