Every saying used to tell somebody to calm down, Claribell had heard it. She was always being told "just be cool", "chill shawty", "relax", etc.This was so confusing to her because she was such a cool girl. So what could she possibly be doing wrong?! Apparently something because different people kept telling her the same thing. Finally, somebody just had to sit Claribell down and tell her that she was always hearing this because she put unrealistic expectations on people too soon. Every time she started conversing with someone new, she expected them to call her everyday, send those good morning/goodnight texts and all that jazz. If she didn't get a text back within 30 minutes, she was ready to hop in the Buick LeSabre and ride out. Already acting like a girlfriend when she hadn't even mastered being a friend. There she was expecting all of this stuff and had not even been talking to the person for more than two weeks. These premature, unrealistic expectations caused her to be disappointed every single time.
Going into any situation, your expectations should be realistic. Go into a situation with an open mind that something could or could not come from it, but either way, it is what it is. Don't get your hopes up too soon, but don't go in being pessimistic, automatically expecting the worst. You have to find that balance. Something you definitely don't want to do is expect too much too soon or expect to change a situation after already being told what the situation is.
Putting those early expectations can be rough. You read about Claribell! Those premature expectations will have you looking at that phone waiting on that text, and then ready to snap if you don't get the reply in a "reasonable" time frame. If you're just getting to know the person, do just that. Don't try to force anything or expect too much too soon. Matter of fact, first going in, don't put any expectations on anything until you have a reason to do so. Accept people and situations for who and what they are. A chill session is just a chill session. A first date is just a first date. It doesn't mean that a relationship will follow. It just means you went on a first date, and if it was a good one, perhaps you will get a second. I know you want to start thinking of all these lyrics and bomb captions you can put under those IG photos, but just hold off a bit.Try not to put expectations on others based off past situations or people. Just because Betty Mae used to text you every other day when you first started talking doesn't mean that Lou Ann will do the same. Don't let past expectations carry over to new situations. Enjoy getting to know the person before you start thinking ahead and whipping out all the expectations. Make sure you two are even looking for the same thing. Here you are looking for a relationship when the other person is just looking for a romp partner!
Which brings me to my next point....
If a person lets you know what he is looking for from the jump, accept that. Don't go into a situation expecting to change it after already being told what the situation is. Barry Ray told Kathy Mae that he wasn't looking for anything heavy. He was just looking for somebody to kick it with. Kathy Mae knew this. She said it was cool and continued talking to him anyway, knowing full well she wanted a relationship. She didn't just want to "kick it." She was looking for something more. They both wanted different things from the start. Yet, Kathy Mae still invested her time and energy into Barry Ray, expecting something more to come from the situation. She thought that if he spent time with her, he would see how great a gal she was and would change his mind about a relationship.There she was thinking they were heading down Relationship Road, only to look back and see that she was the only one walking down that road. She's probably still walking down that road as you read, expecting Barry Ray to pull up in that Ford Pinto. Unrealistic expectations.
As you go through life, it is impossible to never have expectations. Just be sure those expectations are realistic.
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