Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, & Lil Wayne: Common Factor?

What do they all have in common? I'll tell you! They could care less about what people think of them. As long they like it, that's all that matter, and I agree 108%!

I had to learn that. See, when it comes to hairstyles, I like to experiment. Sometimes I like it super short. Sometimes I prefer a bob. Other times I want it super long. It just depends on how I feel. Now, notice I said it depends on how "I FEEL", not anyone else. So, please explain to me why I have people coming to me telling ME how I should wear MY hair? If I get it long, group A has something to say. If I get it short, group B has something to say. No matter what way I chose, there would always be a group that wasn't particularly pleased. Something as trivial as hair made me realize how IMPOSSIBLE it is to please everyone, and if you try to please everybody, you're setting yourself up for failure. No matter what you do or how hard you try, there will ALWAYS be someone out there with something to say. Point, blank, AND the period!

You have to do what makes you happy. If it's something that truly makes you happy ,why wouldn't you do it? Yeah, some people may not like it but are you willing to be miserable JUST to please someone else? Oh no, no! I don't know about you, but I'm not! And you have to pay attention to those who express their so called "displeasure". Because it's not always  displeasure, sometimes it's just a little shade. You ever  had somebody say they didn't like something you did, wore, or whatever, but you turn around and they have something or are doing something ridiculously similar or the same? Wait, I thought you didn't like it?! So you're like oh, you disliked it so much you decided that you would try it. Yeah, I can see that. No, not really.

Not only is it sometimes shade, but sometimes people can see potential in you that you don't even see in yourself right now. You have to be careful! So, they say what they say to distract you or make you doubt yourself. All along Josephine Betty and Buck Lee know exactly what you are capable of, but they just don't want you to tap into it. They see you as a threat. They can't do it so they don't want you to do it. So they throw out their little comments, "Oh I don't like that." "Man, don't do that. That's whack. " Now there you are. You've just fallen victim to Buck Lee's deceit! Now you've chosen to not do something because Buck Lee didn't like it! Be careful who you listen to! Now I'm not saying ignore everybody. It's ok to be open to advice and suggestions, as well as constructive criticism, but don't compromise your own happiness just to please someone else. It's your life and you would be crazy not to enjoy it. So live your life and stop trying to please everybody! You only have one life to live! Are you going to be miserable trying to please everybody or happy as Kenya Moore when she sees a bottle of lotion?! I choose the latter. Live your life, folks!

You think Miley Cyrus didn't know what people would say when she
made this drastic change? You think she cared? She liked it, and that was all that mattered.

I don't even need to explain. This guy lives his life with no regards as to what
people have to say about him. 

C-Breezy and Rihanna do what makes them happy and could care less about
who has something to say.

Evelyn Lozada & Jennifer Williams: What Now?

On the last season of Basketball Wives, we saw Evelyn Lozada throwing wine bottles, using her clutch as a weapon, and jumping over tables, and in the midst of all the craziness, she had a new man! Evelyn was with Chad Ochocinco, just as happy as she wanted to be (or so it seemed). They had gotten married and were thinking about having more children. She even wrote a book, Inner Circle, about how they met and all of that jazz.

And then there was Jen. Lord, it seemed like Jen was just going through it. In the midst of going through a divorce, she got smacked in the face, and the earring that flew out of her ear is still missing. Her ex-husband threw a drink in her face, knowing that alcohol could have potentially discolored her contacts. AND she got hit in the head with a clutch! She seemed to be the sole target for Evelyn to pick on during the last season  of Basketball Wives.

Oh my how things have changed! Before Evelyn's wedding dress even had time to collect ONE dust particle, she and Chad are done, and now Jennifer has a new man. Jennifer admitted to being in a relationship with Cisco Rosada of CMG Entertainment. February 21, Jennifer tweeted, "I have an amazing boyfriend. #blessed." Jen's new relationship isn't the only thing that seems to be doing well, but her lip gloss line, Lucid, seems to be doing well also. Good for Jennifer!

For Evelyn, after the public divorce and realization of her not so awesome behavior on television, she seems to be in a better place. During a recent interview with Vibe Vixen she said,

"I need to learn to handle certain situations. But if somebody is coming at me, I'm going to protect myself. It's not like I'm going to be super perfect because I was on Iyanla and now I'm Mother Mary because that's not what it is. But at the same time, instead of going from 0 to 1,000, let's really think before we speak and not get physical. I just have to remind myself of that. It's a daily thing for me because sometimes you're tested."

And she is also in the process of launching her new clothing line during London Fashion Week. Evelyn described her new line, "Vida Luxe", as feminine and flowy. I'm very excited about Evelyn's new line, and even more excited that she's finally calmed down a bit! I guess we'll see just how much she's calmed down on the upcoming season 5 of Basketball Wives! I'm happy for  both, Ev and Jen. I wish both the best and still hope they become friends again  *fingers crossed*

Jennifer Williams with new boo, Cisco Rosada.

Evelyn Lozada at Tami Roman's launch party in LA.

Ho, Hoe, Heaux: What exactly is a "HOE"?

**It's not my intention to change your views or opinions on this specific topic. I simply would like to know your thoughts and opinions. You don't have to agree or like anyone's opinion, I just ask that you respect it. 


I hear this word thrown around so much. I hear it in daily conversation, rap songs, blues songs, etc. I see it in tweets, Facebook posts, etc.  That word is "hoe" or "ho", whichever spelling you prefer. I'll just use the first. As you know, if you look in a dictionary, the only definition for hoe you will find is a tool used for gardening, and I'm pretty sure nobody means, "Oh, here comes that gardening tool." Yea, not so much. If you look in a "slang" dictionary, it says that a hoe is a promiscuous woman. The problem with a slang dictionary is that it is not credible or valid, seeing as though everyone is not familiar with slang. Which brings me to my next point.

As I was sitting around asking a few people what their definition of a hoe was, it surprised me how DIFFERENT people's views were.  We all tried to figure out what a "hoe" really was, and once that was clear, what classified a person as a "hoe". Does it depends on how many people a person has slept with? If so, how many is "too many"? Is there a set number? Does  it depends on who a person sleeps with? If you know all the people a person has been with, does that play a factor? Is it a question of gender? Does it depend on a person's behavior or mentality? The factors are endless, but today, I will introduce only 3, as to not write a million pages on the topic.

Mentality vs. Behavior vs. How Many
Take this example for instance. Let's say Betty Ann and Lucy Boone both slept with 15 people that you know of. Though it is their business as to what they choose to do and who with, it's clear that they both have slept with the same number of people, so you automatically label them as such. BUT would it matter if their mentalities are different? Let's say people Betty Ann slept with happened to be people she really liked. She thought something more would come from her escapades, but instead, it was just physical; therefore resulting in disappointment. If you knew this about Betty Ann, would you still consider her a hoe? Now Lucy Boone's mentality is a bit different. She just likes getting down and just loves casual sex. If she thinks he's cute, she's sleeping with him. If he wears blue socks, yep, she's going to get him. She doesn't care about anything else but sex. She has no ulterior motives or evil plan. She just wants sex. Does that make her a hoe? Or are both still "hoes" because they are women who have been with 15 people? Or LouAnn who's been with only 5 men, and Kathy Joe who's been with 30. But LouAnn only seeks out married men and Kathy Joe just likes to keep it casual? Are they both "hoes"?

Gender

Take Kim Kardashian for instance. "Hoe" is a word a lot of people refer to her as, though the only men she's said to have been with were those she seriously dated or was in a relationship with. Yes, she made a sex tape, but that is not uncommon in today's time. It's just unfortunate that her tape was leaked. Now, Wilt Chamberlin on the other hand, has said to be with over 20.000 women in his lifetime. Yet, I have never heard him referred to as a "hoe". 20,000 vs. 7. Hmmm, even Stevie Wonder would take off his sunglasses at that! Let a woman be suspected of sleeping with 20,000 men! Alert the media, Wendy Williams, Nancy Grace, Congress, and whoever else! People would think of  her genitalia as equivalent to year old ham or  spoiled bologna: worthless. Not to mention, a new word would probably be created just to describe her! So is the common misconception that a man gets a pass for sleeping with a lot of people, whereas women don't? Or is it because of physical toll it would take on a woman vs. a man?

Notoriety
Another viewpoint that was introduced was notoriety. To say a person has been with numerous people is one thing, but when you actually KNOW the people a person has been with, that introduces another ball game. Take Chris Bosh's wife for instance. This past weekend in Houston at All Star Weekend, Lil Wayne, in all his frustration with Miami Heath took it a tad bit further. After voicing his dislike for the Miami Heat players, he then said he, uh, had relations with, (for better wording) Bosh's wife. Now, as I was on Twitter this morning, I saw that rapper Cam'Ron, who clearly needs to be making music instead of posting pics, posted a pic via Instagram 2 days ago that said, "My man [@britishthetitan] been had bosh wifey under wing b4 Wayne. Lol she use to be pissy drunk in da [the] Cincinnati." After that, people started calling Bosh's wife all sorts of names, specifically, "hoe", though she is only linked with Chris Bosh, and allegedly Wayne and Cam'Ron's homeboy. But since all three of these men are publicly known, does that play a factor? Would it matter if they were people who were not in the public eye? So again I ask, when you know the people a person has been with, does that factor in on the decision?

Thoughts? What is your definition of a "hoe'?

Why Are you REALLY Throwing Shade?

"Ohh, I do not like that girl."

"Man, that dude right there thinks he's something."

Now let me ask you this. WHY don't you really like Josephine? What has Bobby Frank done to you? Do you even have a legit reason? I bet if someone asked why you would say, "I just don't." So, it's safe to say that you probably never met or talked to the person, but he/she just looks a certain way.  Therefore, you don't like the person. Oh, I can see how that makes sense. Wait, no, I actually can't.  Let me take a Taebo jab at what's really going on. They have something you lack. They have something that you need a little bit more of. What they have has caused them to get a little more attention than you, gain more opportunities than you, or even pull more guys or girls than you (some you particularly had an interest in), .. all because of  this one thing: CONFIDENCE.

Because she walks into the room confidently and gets attention without acting like she's in an Uncle Luke video, she thinks she's all that. Because the dude across the street who knows he's talented and will eventually make big moves, walks in confidently, he's just too cocky. All they did was LITERALLY walk into the room, and now your face is scrunched up worse than Stevie J's. Those people just have confidence. Stop hating and throwing shade because you don't have any. Get you some. It's not anyone else's job to build YOUR confidence. It's YOURS. Which means that you have to believe that you look good. You have to believe that you are capable of making your dreams a reality. You have to have confidence in yourself and your ability. If you don't think you look good, you can't get mad if no one else does. If you don't think you will ever be successful, you can't get upset if Mary Jo down the street agrees with you. Heck, you don't even believe in yourself.

Not only in looks and ability, but you need to have a confident frame of mind. I personally think you NEED confidence to even survive in this world because people will tear you down if you let them. Let's face it. There are people out there who simply will not like you and don't want you to succeed. So, they will try to do whatever to break you. If you let everything someone says to you or about you affect your confidence and how you feel about yourself, you will be sad every other day. Once you KNOW and are CERTAIN about yourself, you won't take everything so personally. You'll be able to just let things roll off your shoulder.

PLUS....

Nobody wants to be around a person who does not have confidence. Have you ever met up at somebody's place to go out together, and there's always this one person in the group who has something negative to say? "Oh, I'm just so fat." "I don't like what I have on." "I don't feel pretty tonight." Well, maybe you just need to keep your butt at the house tonight! Please don't be THAT person. You don't want to be known as No Confidence Connie or  Clydale.

Have confidence!

Power of the "P"

Yep, I said it. It starts with a "P" and ends with a "Y".

PRIORITY!

What did you guys think I meant? Geez. Get those minds out of the gutter!

If you're like me, sometimes you get your priorities mixed up. You would rather buy what you want opposed to what you need. I know you would much rather spend money on something you actually want, like that new MK or Louis V bag or those Jordans, LeBrons, or whatever! But let's face it! You have bills, baby!  So that bag or those shoes will just have to wait because they're not a priority. I mean you can make it a priority but then you'll have a bag with no money, and J's on your feet that no one will actually see because you don't even have money to go anywhere. I guess you can walk around a mall or stand outside the club since that's free.

Prioritizing means that you sometimes have to make sacrifices.  You have to put aside something you really want for another thats more important. Trust me, I know. I love weave! I do not, will not, can not, and shall not deny it! Whoo! I just came across a lady who does really good weaves, and she said that it'd cost me $500 at the least. Say what now? As bad as I want this lady  to do my hair, I'm smart enough to know that it would not be wise of me to spend this amount on hair when I have more important things to take care of. So I told her to have a nice day, and that it was good talking to her! No ma'am, I don't quite have time for that.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself, do I really NEED this or do I just WANT it. You even have to ask yourself this with people. Who is superior in rank, position, or privilege? Who is your PRIORITY? Sometimes you can make someone else the number one priority in your life when they are not doing the same for you! You're lucky if you even make it to the top 12 on their list. If a person is making more transactions that they are deposits, you may want to check your list. I mean they are just taking all your time, energy, money, whatever; yet they aren't giving you anything meaningful in return. So there you are just broke down, broken hearted, and every other "broke" you can be! I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'm pretty sure that person should not be a priority in your life. I know we can all get our priorities a little fuzzy sometimes. Hey, it happens, but the important thing is to refocus those priorities and get things on track! So, what's the number one priority in your life?

Check those priorities, folks!

Don't Kill Yourself: It's Just Another Day

I woke up, and today was just another day. Hmm, maybe because I'm single. Eh, oh well! Today is Valentine's Day! Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

Somebody said it's also Single Awareness Day, also referred to as S.A.D. What exactly is there to be sad about? Were you NOT single yesterday? So today is not really different from any other day. Yes, it's V-Day and you may not have plans, but so what? Did you have plans yesterday? Exactly. Just keep it moving like you would any other day. I have seen a ton of sad statuses via Facebook and Twitter about feeling sad and lonely because of today, and let me tell you, if I could send a slap via social networking, I would! Cheer the hell up! No need to pine over not having a Valentine. I promise you that you will be ok. So turn off the Adele and Mary J! Turn on some jigging music. I have "Back that Thang Up" by Juvenile playing on the low! Just be happy! Tomorrow will be another day, and you'll still be living (hopefully)! AND you can get chocolates for half off! Honey, that's what I call winning! If no one else loves you,  I do! 

To all the couples, enjoy your day and night! To all the singles, just be happy that you get a chance to stay in. Scandal comes on tonight AND the Miami Heat play the OKC Thunder! :)

Enjoy your day, folks!

"Please Show Me my Opponent": Where's My Competition?

One day I was in the office, and me and a few of my former coworkers were talking about our futures and what not. One coworker said that she didn't want to move to a certain city because of "all the competition". I looked at her and said, "So? Are you not competition yourself?"


You can't be so focused on the "competition" that you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. What are you scared of?! If anything, let competition motivate you. You and only you know what you are and are not capable of! No one should ever make you doubt your ability. I wouldn't care if you were about to go head to head in a dance competition with Beyonce! If you know you're a dancer, you just better get up there and wave that hand from side to side, pop lock, and do whatever it is that you do! You should be so confident in your ability that you're not even fazed! Yeah, she may be Beyonce, but you're YOU!  Tell  her she better ask somebody! You can't be so intimidated by others that you freeze up and back down! If that's the case, you'll be backing out of everything life throws at you. We live in a competitve world! That's just how it is, and if you don't see yourself as being able to compete with others, then you may want to pursue a career that's less competitive, like a cattle herder or something.

That's why I have much respect for Michael Jordan. Some would say that he is as cocky as they come, but honestly, he just knew what he was capable of. He knew that he was great! Whenever he stepped on the court, he was never worried about who his opponents were because he knew that his opponents would remember the day they played him! The only person he was trying to be better than was himself. He was so focused on the game that he didn't see competition. That's what you should be focused on! PERFECT your craft, whatever it is that you're great at. You don't have time to be worried about what Betty Lou or Luther Joe is over there doing.  Do what you have to do to become better. If that means putting a few extra hours in at the gym, do it. If that means missing out on a few nights of tequila and beer with friends, so what! Tequila probably put you on your butt last time anyway! You need a break! Forget the competition, focus on YOU! There's already on Jay-Z; there won't be another. There's already one Oprah; there won't be another. There's already one Michael Jordan; there won't be another. Sorry to tell you that, but it's true! BUT who's to say that you can't be just as good or even greater! It's solely up to you because your competition cant stop you. The only one who can stop you is you! So, what are you going to do?

You Allow It. You Deserve It.

We see it time and time again. People selling themselves short. Putting up with crap from buffoons when they don't even have to, draining themselves physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. It took a good friend of mine giving me tough love for me to realize what I was doing to myself. I mean, you know when somebody hits you with the truth so hard, you have to look around, blink, and whatever else to make sure they really said what they said. But sometimes, that strong, bus driver uppercut dose of truth is what we need!

I can't count how many people I know who are going, have gone, or will go through a situation where they put up with something they don't have to, myself included. I actually did, until I made up in my mind that I deserved better. It's one thing to SAY that you deserve better, but it's a whole other ball game to actually BELIEVE it. If you keep saying that you deserve better yet keep accepting and putting up with the same stuff, you obviously don't believe what you're saying. Because if you did, you wouldn't continue to accept it. People can only do to you what you allow them. If somebody is making you cry everyday, you're allowing them to. If somebody is dogging you out, it's because you are letting them. I mean you are just letting Joe Smoe or Berdine Jackson ruin your whole day! Your whole day, though?! Are Joe and Berdine that extraordinary that they have the power to ruin your ENTIRE DAY? I bet they aren't. No one should have that much power over your life. Like this poet Dana Gilmore said, when you really think about it, the person you are taking crap from is probably so AVERAGE! Doing average crap! So that either makes you average, or you aren't living up to your potential(paraphrased heavily)!  Sometimes you just have to take a step back, do some soul searching, and wake the hell up! If that means laying down thinking or riding around listening to some Mary J. Blige, Adele, or even Lil Boosie's "Why You Thug Me Like That", do what you need to do!

When you truly believe you deserve better, that's when you get results. Trust, I am a living witness! Life is too short to be anything but happy. If a person is not adding to that happiness, you need to pull over at the train station and let 'em off! And then pull that train out of the station, baby! Choo-choo happily down that track! There's no telling who's waiting at the end! Have a good weekend, folks!





The Dana Gilmore videos that I LOVE! My favs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aSPYcjspgk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yawijWkvGk

Do You Like it Better on Top or Bottom?

Bet you thought this was about sex! Oh, that dirty mind!

I recently heard a snippet of Drake's new record, "Started from the Bottom." I started to rock a little bit, then added the head nod, and in a few seconds I was in a full out jig! After I calmed myself down and really listened to the words, I thought of my friends and our present situations. We are starting from the VERY bottom, but we're all GRINDING (#NoPrettyRicky) to make some things happen. So, it's only a matter of time before we reach the top!
 
My friends, like me, are hungry. I mean, we are STARVING...for success., and we are trying to eat, baby! We aren't satisfied with average. We aren't content with mediocre. We want the best and will not accept anything less than that. A friend of mine once said, "You hear people all the time talking about how they just want to be comfortable. I'm not tryna' be comfortable. I'm tryna' ball!" I couldn't agree more!

But in order to "ball" and be above average, I know that I have to work my ass off. Anybody can be average, but it takes a dedicated person to be GREAT. If that means pulling all-nighters to study material and get stuff done, I'll do it . If that means running across town get whoever coffee, I'll do it. "Would you like a scone or biscotti with that coffee?" I would be just like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada! But nowadays it seems like everybody wants success, money, cars, mansions, etc., but nobody wants to work for it. Instead of trying to get it, you're out there trying to take breaks! Every 5 minutes you're taking a break talking about, "I'm tied (tired)." LAWD! How are you tired?! You haven't worked for more than 5 minutes! But just remember while you're taking those breaks, somebody else out there is grinding. I mean he/she is out to get it! And in order to get it, you have to be willing to put in WORK! It won't be easy, but you have to keep in your mind that it's worth it. If you're not where you want to be yet, that is FINE! We all have to start somewhere. The important thing to do is just start!

Yaky Weaves and Old Buicks- Learn to Be Happy

"Man, I can't wait until I start making a lot of money?"

"I'll be so happy when I get rid of this '90 Buick."

"Whoo, I'll be so happy when I can finally get that virgin hair weave instead of this shiny looking yaky hair."

We have and all know someone who has made a statement like this. I know I do. I used to drive a 2000 Kia Sephia. The paint was fading, and it had little rust spots all over it. Not to mention, it used to skee-wee every time I cranked it, and if I wanted to turn on the AC, oh boy, KiKi would really act a fool! I used to always talk about how I could not wait until I got another car. I was so ready to get rid of KiKi, UNTIL.....somebody rear ended it! Then I was without a car of my own for 8 months! I would have given anything to get my skee-weeing, rusty spotted, squeaky braked, car back. Losing my car made me realize that I should have been happy with what I had when I had it.

You have to learn to get excited about the things you have right now. If you can't afford that expensive weave, you better wear and flat iron that yaky until you can't flat iron it anymore! Drive that old Buick until it leans to the side! Learn to be appreciative and happy of where you are right now. When you learn to get happy where you are right now and the things you do have, it makes life so much easier. Better things will come in the future, but until then, you wear that yaky weave and drive that Buick proudly!Stop looking at what the next person has and comparing your situations  Because when you do that, you are setting yourself up for failure. Let's say you just got an '08 Lexus. You are proud as heck of your new car because it is a HUGE step up from that Buick. Well, your neighbor pulls up in his new '13 Range Rover. Ahh snap! All of sudden that Lexus doesn't seems so hot! Stop! Don't you think it! You just better look at what you came up from and get happy again! Shine that Lexus up, and keep it moving! Or let's say you just got your hair done. Baby, that stylist laid that yaky too well! Then you get in class and see the girl beside you with her virgin Brazilian weave. She's just shaking it too. Hmph! Well, you just start shaking that yaky, and carry on! Learn to be happy with what YOU have, and see how things begin to change!!

Big City Movin'

I haven't blogged in forever! Forgive me readers! I will do better! Between moving, graduating, and Scandal Thursdays, things got pretty bizzaayyyy (busy)! To fill you in on what's been going on, I graduated college, moved out of my apartment, and made one of the BIGGEST MOVES OF MY LIFE!

As JCole said, "This is the story of a young one dreaming. Left his home to see if he could become what he['s] dreaming." Well, I did just that. I moved from the state I've known and loved all my life to a place where the driving is hectic, the people are, uh, less friendly, and everyone seems to speak Spanish except me! I guess I should have paid more attention in Senor Jackson's Spanish class because it is REAL in these South Florida streets, highways, gas stations, etc. I have a LOT of adjusting to do! Whoo!

Before I moved down here, I told someone about my plans to move. Now, instead of congratulating me and wishing me well, the person proceeds to say, in so many words, that I would not make it in Miami. The nerve of this BUFFOON! I had to look at the phone for a second, and then I politely ended the conversation. Lucky for that person I had just finished reading the Bible, or else the conversation would have gone a little bit differently.

Well, I have news for that person and those who share similar thoughts, I'm doing just fine. The doubt and negativity only pushes me harder. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I am well on my way. So, please, continue to give me a reason to become a friggin' BEAST.  :-) Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on the good, the bad, the ugly. I'll be sure to blog about it!